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Oasis of Learning

Co-Creating More Purpose and Joy!

A Story on Proactive Behavior

It is a story of a young man who wanted a job at Macy's department store. He presented himself to the personnel director who was cordial, but was told that no jobs were going to be available. Persistent, the young man refused to take no for an answer. He spent the next couple of hours browsing through the store making a list of problems with recommendations for improvement. He phoned the personnel director who had turned him down before and said “I want to work for Macy’s. I have spent the past two hours in the store, and I have found at least ten places where I could make a significant contribution. May I come up and tell you where they are?” The young man was invited up for another visit, and he got his job at Macy’s.

How I got my first training assignment

I love books. I always have a book in my bag whenever I travel.

In the year 2000, I used to travel in a bus to go to my office. I used to board the bus from the starting point and so I would pick up a decent seat and get going with my book.

One day a lady sat next to me. She noticed me reading the book and asked me what the book was about? I told her that it was a self help book- Tough time never last, tough people do.

She asked me to tell me more about the book. I started explaining the main points. She said,” You explain well. Would you like to deliver a lecture at my institute? I will pay you an honorarium.”

I was a little surprised and asked her, “On what topic would you like me to talk about?” She said, “Well, I run an institute for Multimedia. How about a talk on - Career in Multimedia and some personality development tips?” I had recently read a detailed article about ‘Career in Multimedia’ in the Times of India and with lot of confidence I said, “Sure. Let me know when you would like me to talk?”

We exchanged numbers and a Sunday was fixed for my talk. I prepared well and delivered my talk. It went fairly well. Once the talk was over, I had a cup of tea with that lady and she gave me an envelope with a smiley and a thank you written over it.

It was my foray into delivering guest lectures. I delivered a session for ISB Mohali in the year 2017 and while the host was thanking me for the wonderful session, images from my first guest lecture were crossing my mind. On my way to the airport, I was recollecting the amazing journey of my training sessions and workshops.

I got this message today from a student who completed her WhatsApp based course and such messages make me love my profession more and more. I think I know my IKIGAI...

 

 

Working with Affirmations

The word affirmation comes from the Latin affirmare, originally meaning “to make steady, strengthen.”

An affirmation is usually a sentence or phrase that you repeat regularly to yourself and to let the universe know of your intention. It is advisable to practice a set of affirmations for 21 days.

A client of mine approached me and told me that her son was facing problems in studies and his chances of flunking the exams were very high. She kept on saying that, “He is not good in studies. He is a slow learner”. I counseled her and told her to just chant this affirmation, “My son is healthy, happy and smart. He is able to tap his inner wisdom and use it to prosper in life”. I also counseled the son and worked with him separately. Today that boy is working as an intern in one of the top hotels of India.

Working with affirmations is very simple.  You need to sit in a comfortable position and repeat the affirmation at least 11 times in a very slow manner. The best time to practice affirmations is when you get up or when you are about to go to sleep. You can still practice affirmations at any point during the day. Some people like to say the affirmations and some like to work with them by saying them mentally. Both are equally beneficial. Choose whatever works for you.

You can take a print of affirmation cards and paste in front of your desk or use them as a desktop background or screen saver.

Six Core Needs

According to Anthony Robbins, we are all driven by the need to fulfill six human needs basically. These 6 basic human needs are not just desires or wants, but profound needs which serve as the basis of every choice we make.

1. Certainty

This is the need for security, comfort and consistency

2. Uncertainty

This is need for variety, challenges

3. Significance

The need to feel important, needed, wanted and worthy of love

4. Love and Connection

The need for feeling connected with and loved by other human beings

5. Growth

The need for constant development emotionally, intellectually and spiritually

6. Contribution

Giving beyond ourselves and giving to others

It is all in your hands

In a village there used to live a wise old man. People really respected him and used to seek his guidance from time to time. Everyday people would gather under a tree next to his house and ask him questions and listen to his teaching. There was a young man in the village who was jealous of the wise man. He decided to teach the old man a lesson. One day he caught a humming bird and went up to the old man. He asked him,” I have a bird in my palms. Can you tell me if the bird is dead or alive, if you are so wise?”. He planned to crush the bird if the old man said that the bird was alive and open his palms if the old man said that the bird was dead.

The old man thought for a minute and said,” It is all in your hands”.

Which accent is the best?

Accent is a characteristic way of speaking based on a person’s ethnicity, mother tongue, location, peer group and work.

Ann Cook, a renowned Accent Trainer says that Accents are neither good or bad... they are just different.

If a person feels that he or she has a lot of Mother Tongue Influence and people find a little hard to understand him or her then Voice and Accent Training can really help.

In case you are in the field of training or public speaking or if you have foreign clients it makes sense to work upon your voice and accent. The way you speak and modulate your voice is a part of your personality and it helps you to create an impact. People pay more attention to you if you modulate your voice as per the situation and can create an excitement and interest in the mind of the listener.

Like the way we go to a gym and build our body muscles, we can also work upon our speech and sound more impactful. One can either join a Voice and Accent course or work with a coach to learn the intricacies of voice modulation and accent.

There are three dimensions of an accent:

  1. Articulation: The way we say our vowels and consonants sounds. (In India people sometimes have issues with S/Sh, Z/Zh and V/W sounds)
  2. Pronunciation: How we stress a part of the word. (Syllable Stress)
  3. Intonation: The music of the language... the rhythm, pace, pauses, highs and lows...

Becoming aware of these three areas can really help you to become aware of your speech patterns and work upon your opportunity areas.

Power of Behavioural Skills

I used to work as a Voice and Accent Neutralization trainer many years ago. When I would get excellent feedback from the participants I would really feel good. In the year 2004, my learning leader asked me to focus on behavioural skills. I conducted a session on Assertion Skills and I got a feedback that made me realize the power of behavioural skills.

After a week from the session a participant came to meet me in the trainer’s room. She asked me if she can talk to me for some time. I said, yes and this is what she said – “Atul, I want to thank you for the session. You know, I have always been a submissive person. Last year I got married and my found that my mother-in-law is very dominating. I didn’t know what to do. Yesterday, for the first time I said no to her in a very respectful and assertive manner and she was surprised. I feel, now I have the power in me to face this world.” She had tears in her eyes.

In my mind I was thanking my learning leader who patiently reviewed the course multiple times and told me to focus again and again on two questions - How is this information going to help the participant? How will participants use this in their lives?

To this day whenever I draft any module, I keep these questions in my mind.

Personal Mission Statement - Example

Emotional Bank Account

An emotional bank account is an account of trust instead of money. It’s an account based on how safe you feel with another person.

Covey identifies six ways to make deposits (or reduce withdrawals):

1) Understanding the Individual. This means listening intently to what the other person is saying and empathizing with how they may feel. It’s important to care for others and act with kindness toward them.

2) Keeping Commitments. How do you feel when someone arrives right on time when you have a meeting? How about when people simply do what they say they will do? You build up an emotional reserve by keeping your commitments.

3) Clarifying Expectations. We are not mind readers, and yet we consistently expect others to know what we expect of them. Communicating our expectations can help create a higher level of trust. When we ask for what we want, and we get it, we can then trust a little more.

4) Attending to the Little Things. Don’t you find that the little things tend to become the BIG things when they do not receive our attention? Doing the little things is how we honor and show respect for others. Small kindnesses, a smile, a little extra effort, a hug, doing something you didn’t “have” to: these are the things that build trust.

5) Showing Personal Integrity. Integrity is the moral floor upon which trusting relationships are built. When we operate with sound moral character, it makes it so easy for others to trust us.

6) Apologizing When We Make a Withdrawal. We will make mistakes; it’s part of life. But when you see you have violated a trust, sincerely apologizing is how we make a deposit to counteract the damage we have done.

As a leader keep a track of the transactions you have with others and see if you are investing in the Emotional Bank Account or making frequent withdrawals? 

Handling Sessions with Large Number of Audience

  1. Get to know the administrative arrangements of the venue and see if some outdoor activities are possible.
  2. Would you have access to some volunteers who would be able to help you move the mic around, collect chits and other such activities.
  3. Focus on a ppt based session which has billboard text and pictures.
  4. Prepare a manual with exercises and reflective questions.
  5. Choose your videos wisely.
  6. Have a power packed approach and make the audience react to your content by asking:
    • Are you with me?
    • Yes or No?
    • Raise your hand.
    • Reflect and think of..
    • Quickly pair with your partner and share…
    • On the handout you have I want you to write..
    • On the chit you have I want you to write..
  7. Think of some outdoor activities provided you have support, props and space…
  8. Use lot of stories..
  9. Have a list of names of the participants and call random people to share and participate in various demonstrative activities
  10. See if the space allows you to have triad work. (two participants practice a technique via a role play and the observer records the observations… have a format for observation)..
  11. Have lot of Caselets planned to go round the focus areas…
  12. Always have a mindmap for the participants in their handouts.
  13. Have scripted roleplays…

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